real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
