So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
