your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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