I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
