I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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