Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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