I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
