I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
