The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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