One girl and one boy is just not enough.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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