my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
