My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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