Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping

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(301): View more from Maryland

do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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(716): View more from New York

She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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(518): View more from New York

i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.

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(614): View more from Ohio

So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.

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