Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
