it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
