no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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