false alarm. still invincible.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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