So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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