I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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