I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
