But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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