To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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