so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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