I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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