So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
