mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
