I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
