If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
