Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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