Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
