At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
