Whod you bang
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
