He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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