How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
