I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
