Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
