My nipple is on Facebook.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
