ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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