I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
