I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think your dad took our porno
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
