"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
