wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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