You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
