So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
