yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
