oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
