That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
