I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
