Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
