So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
